What is the Similarity Attraction Effect?
Liking and Attraction
In another lesson, we discuss the fact that exposure and proximity to certain people lead to us liking them more. The people that we see and interact with regularly are the ones most likely to become our friends/lovers. But, there are certainly other factors that determine if we are attracted to someone enough to develop a relationship with that person.
It's important to note that when we talk about attraction, we aren't always talking about sexual attraction. By definition, an attraction is just something that draws people together. Let's talk more in depth about some of the factors behind attraction and close relationships, in particular, similarity, reciprocal liking, and ingratiation.
Similarity
Imagine you meet someone for the first time and discover you have a lot in common. You cheer for the same sports team, enjoy watching the same TV shows, and even love the same restaurants. With so much in common, chances are that you'd be attracted to this person.Similarity, or a match of personal aspects with those of another person, is one of the most powerful forces behind attraction and the creation of close relationships. As the old saying goes, and as you have likely experienced for yourself, birds of a feather do flock together.
We are attracted to others who share our attitudes, values, personality characteristics, communication style, background, and so on. Over and over again, research has shown that the more similar a person is, the more likable we find that person. Interestingly, research has also shown that even more important than similarity is perceived similarity.
For example, one particular study was designed to compare actual and perceived similarity between personalities of college roommates. The psychologists found that friendships grew between roommates who shared values and personality traits, but even more so when they simply perceived their roommates as similar. This was the same result of a more recent meta-analysis.
A different group of psychologists found that in long-term relationships, perceived similarity was a better predictor of liking and attraction than actual similarity. It appears that similarity in reality matters, but the simple belief that someone is similar to us is actually more important.
By now, you may be wondering about the old saying that 'opposites attract.' To a certain extent, it does make sense that two people could have personality traits or strengths that would complement the other person, completing what is missing. All of us could probably think of a romantic couple or two who view their differences as complementary, especially if one is significantly more outgoing than the other. However, research has been unable to confirm this. Study after study shows that, at least for the vast majority of us, similarity, not complementarity, is what promotes liking and attraction.
In summary, similarity, or a match of personal aspects with those of another person, is one of the most powerful forces behind attraction and the creation of close relationships. We are attracted to others who share our attitudes, values, personality characteristics, communication style, background, and so on. Over and over again, research has shown that the more similar a person is, the more likable we find that person. However, it appears that although similarity in reality matters, the simple belief that someone is similar to us is actually more important.
LAW #3 of the Game: The Similarity Principle
— The Ruthless Seducer (@PUA_DATING_TIPS) June 29, 2018
"Research shows that similars attract."
"People seek out a partner with who they can share similar interests in life and similar values." pic.twitter.com/29JrvGpNRQ
Hello, my name is Jack Sparrow. I'm a 50 year old self-employed Pirate from the Caribbean.